At Least the Lakers won…

…or To Lawton with love: I don’t hate you, I hated the situation.

I’m the type of person who bristles at the idea of paying extra for anything. I don’t super-size. Don’t do extra cheese or dealer installed desert “undercoating”. It is mostly because I am cheap but I also am a strict adherent to the law of diminishing returns. And, because that “undercoating”, if anything at all, is WD-40 sprayed under the car by the exhaust.

Last night I sat in first class for the first time ever on a connection from DFW home. I have looked into it before, upgrading, but when I look at the price I laugh. Even on a nine hour transcontinental, to me, it’s just not worth it. Anyway, it was awesome. The seat was roomy and comfortable and the booze was included and served in glass tumblers, no plastic for me last night.

So, how did I find myself in such luxury? The airline I fly the most does not have first class, so the ones that do I fly so rarely that I use my miles for magazines. It was the result of a plethora of cascading annoyances. I spent the day in Lawton, OK yesterday on a business trip. It was the perfect plan. I left Wednesday afternoon with only carryon bags so I could get out of the airport as efficiently as possible.

Then, “light storms” in Dallas happened. My flight was to leave Lawton at 4:45, arriving in Dallas about 6 and my connection leaving at 7:18. Plenty of time I thought. So I’m figuring out what’s up with the airport in Lawton, my flight was to leave in half an hour and the security checkpoint was locked. Turns out that the two gate puddle jumper supported airport doesn’t have bathrooms past the checkpoint so they don’t open it until just before boarding for one of the four daily flights to Dallas.

After I learn this I hear that the flight has been delayed until 6. I start to panic. I then go to the ticket agent with my curiosity and he says that I will have no problem making my 7:18 flight. I should have recorded that statement.

I retreated to the friendly café in the Lawton airport to have a Blue Moon and play Free Cell. 6 comes and nothing. Then another announcement, the plane will be here (and the one intended for the 6:55 to Dallas) between 6:30 and 6:40. This is bad so I again go to the ticket counter and insist on a contingency ticket for the 10:10 (delayed to 10:40) as I am certain that (outside of a naïve hope) that I would not make it for my original flight. Being a little snotty, I insist on an upgrade, I figured why not? I’ve heard of other people who have done this before. Why not me? The friendly ticket agent complies and I get first class seat 4F, or more importantly, the ability to be the sixth person off the plane.

I wish that was it. But it was not. Before I continue I must state my admiration for the staff at the Lawton airport. Before all of this the Hertz agent could not print my rental car receipt. But she was friendly and the estimated bill was the final bill so I had a piece of paper stating what I paid for a night with a Mazda 5. Also, it turns out that the airport staff in Lawton are multitaskers. The TSA agents scan luggage and man the security check. The ticket agents bring in the planes, pack and unpack the luggage and take tickets at the gate. Impressive.

Anyway so what else could go wrong? Try the following:
- They board and launch the 6:55 before my 4:45! Ugh.
- We finally board just past 7.
- We get to Dallas just after 8 and wait on the tarmac for half an hour, they were not prepared to gate!
- They take 10 agonizing minutes to open the door into the bridge! Was it the first time this was ever done?
- I am in the Dallas airport at just before 9, more than an hour and a half after my flight left!
- The “Irish” pub serves Blue Moon, I am not amused!
- On the SIX STOP skylink ride to near my gate I have to get out two stops from mine because the car I’m on is going out of service and wait for another!

Needless to say I was very happy to get home. It was a wild ride and I am not inclined to fly American ever again. It was good that the in flight magazine had an article on stress relieving labyrinths and that scotch is good, especially when it’s included in the purchase price (there is no such thing as free). And the Lakers won. Thank you Ron Artest.