A Taco Bell Tale

So apparently that story about that dude in the Taco Bell commercial driving his friends 965 miles for a Doritos shelled taco is real. I thought it was fictional. I’ve heard rumblings demeaning the trip, I wonder why anyone cares. It seems to me that a group of friends wanted to go on a road trip somewhere and the idea of a special, hard to find taco was just the means to an end, a way to determine where to go. After all, if a road trip wasn’t in the plans, why not just buy some Doritos and then spread the innards of a locally purchased Taco Bell taco onto it, creating a yuppie approved Doritos bowl?

Anyway, I wonder why Taco Bell isn’t manned by robots and available in vending machine form yet. I want one of those Doritos Locos tacos but don’t want the hassle of going to a Taco Bell to get one. I went to the Bell Sunday night to get one and it ended up being a disaster. We went through the drive thru and when we got home the order was incorrect. The receipt was only 60% right and the contents of the bag didn’t even match the receipt. Worse, of the correct contents in the bag there was no Doritos Locos taco.

This particular location has screwed up previous orders and out of frustration I didn’t want the order remade, I wanted a refund. Calling ahead to the restaurant I was informed by the on-duty manager that he couldn’t grant a refund and after he called another manager was told that I could get a refund the next day. On Monday I called to talk to this manager a couple hours into what I was informed was the beginning of his shift and told that he had not yet arrived. Before leaving work in the afternoon, six hours into this manager’s supposed shift, I called again and he had not yet arrived. I was informed that this person alone could grant the refund and assured that he would be there when I arrived. I had refrigerated the food and brought it along and was able to get a refund, a day later. Every communication I had with the restaurant was strained and it was difficult to be understood. When I went to the restaurant to get my refund and return the food it was a mess and uncomfortable and the manager was unkempt and lacking in hygiene. It was a nightmare and I won’t make the mistake of visiting that location ever again, and very likely won’t visit any Taco Bell without being incredibly hungry and absent of other options. Basically if I’m driving through Grants, it might happen.

Which gets me to the main point, why can’t a Taco Bell exist as a vending machine? Seriously. Taco Bell’s menu consists of a limited number of set ingredients arranged in various ways. I could imagine a vending machine consisting of pre-measured ingredients separated and managed through various sensors being mixed as ordered through a controlled process. A touch screen that resembles one of those automatic supermarket checkouts would be the interface to the customer. It could also take orders online thorough a website or tablet app and the receipt would work as a key through a locker system to deliver orders. It is a dream of mine to never have to order food in person.