Revenge of the Sith

If you haven't seen this movie yet, then don't read this. But the only people who read this are dorks, so you've probably already seen it.

Finally got around to watching Episode III the other day. It was not that great a movie. Seriously, it sucked. The wife fell asleep for about 20 minutes of it. The only non-sucky thing about it was that it was kinda cool to see the stories behind the original 3 episodes - such as Luke's and Leia's birth, and how Darth Vader got all jacked up. Oh, and the huge barking lizard that Obi-Wan rides was pretty cool. Plus, Yoda fights some more.

Sorry, I can't get into the story behind Star Wars the way I can get into Lord of the Rings, or the Chronicles of Narnia. There's too much mushy pseudo-pantheistic religiosity in the stories of Star Wars that turns me off. I was particularly repelled by these lines:

Anakin: You're either with me, or you're my enemy.

Obi-Wan: Only a Sith speaks in absolutes.

What the heck? Not only is Kenobe's statement in itself an absolute, the whole smarmy Star Wars series is nothing but absolute after friggin' absolute. Isn't an overarching theme of this whole stupid series the idea of good vs. evil? Clearly, this was just a cheap jab at W. (The Christian blogosphere has picked up on this also, saying that using this standard Jesus was a Sith lord - since the "absolutist" statement was actually his.) I couldn't believe the tripe that was in this movie - even the little green wise man was spouting idiotic sentiments. "You must learn to let go....Death is a natural part of life." Easy for the little green immortal to say. I don't enjoy these movies primarily because of this wayward moralism - there is no fixed moral compass like there is in LOTR or Narnia. The "wisest" characters in this story are constantly contradicting themselves by going from one squishy moral principle to another, evidently culled from various religions.

The only other beef I have with this movie was how all of a sudden Anakin went from becoming a Sith for "good" reasons (to save his wife) and then all of a sudden became evil, slaying younglings and all. Of course Anakin was corrupted by the Dark Side, but I don't think Lucas portrayed this decay of Anakin's character well enough. It seemed to me to be too sudden a change. I dunno; maybe that's how the Dark Side works. Don't listen to me, since I'm just a consumer and this movie exploded from the wellspring of Lucas' fertile imagination.

At any rate, it was worth the $6.50 I paid for it, primarily for the imaginative creatures and places that Lucas can come up with, as well as it being the final nail in the coffin of this franchise. But I'm not buying the DVD of this or any other Star Wars flick.

Update: Check this Mark Steyn review. He's a master with language and he rips into Lucas for this stinker, which is good, because I didn't rip into the terrible acting at all. And it was terrible - especially Hayden Christensen, who plays pathetic fake newsreporters much better than dark Sith lords.